Rise of the Bastard III: The Grief Sponge

On the other side of the equation, we have the lifelong griefer. This is not someone who can't keep the personal problems out of the workplace: this is someone for whom the personal problems are the workplace, and there is no divide in between. I haven't had to walk a female friend through a divorce, but I can tell you that for guys, each and every one goes through a phase where their world is in pieces, they're staring at them all scattered on the floor, and they have no idea how to pick them back up or even which one to start with. It's an awful situation, trying to put one's life back together.

Unfortunately, the Grief Sponge is in this exact spot and seems to be stuck in neutral. There is no way out because the exits all lead back to the entrance. As they throw themselves into their work, the workplace becomes the sounding board for all the awfulness, and every little hiccup in the workflow is Her walking out, all over again. Grief Sponges are no fun to be around. Eventually people stop inviting them to the after-hours get-togethers, because the last thing you want is to be close to the guy when he's had a few beers in him. Women get slobbery pleas for sympathy, as if they can barter diplomacy on behalf of their gender. Guys are the shoulder to cry on--guys are bad listeners enough without having to be coerced into a marathon session of How She Left Me--for the nth time.

So....what to do? As bizarre as it sounds, sometimes companies apply the Dilbert Principle and promote the Grief Sponge. Get him out of the workflow and give him something to do that doesn't involve people, much. The catch is that there's this little thing about management that involves actually managing people, and placing The Grief Sponge in a position of power turns out to be a bad thing, indeed. I have a friend who is going through this situation right now. Nobody underneath TGS likes to deal with him because he is pessimistic and rude. Worse, he will issue proclamations from on high that derail the development process. It's a vicious cycle: the more the team keeps him out of the loop, the less he knows, and the worse the edicts become. Typically, this is where the Peasants revolt--they go over his head, and TGS feels the squeeze from being in Middle Management.

Upper management will typically do one of two things: protect The Grief Sponge, or push him.

It seems unavoidable that management will take on an Us vs. Them mentality when it comes to conflicts. Conflicts are messy, and when the complaints come from below, sometimes management doesn't want to be bothered with it. Don't rock the boat; there's a lot of liability from up here, and none of us wants to be knocked off our pedestal. On the other hand, there's the fact that the Defendant in question is Management: part of the fold. Condemning them would both project the image that Management made a mistake by hiring/promoting the guy, and remind the masses that even Managers can get the axe.

Neither is a favorable proposition.

It's amazing how far I've seen the protection racket go--a GS can get a lot out of the company if he tumbles to his diplomatic immunity (Golden Parachute, anyone?). But that is a post for another time. :) Instead, let's look at the other choice: the push.

This one is simple--management doesn't want to fire anybody because fired people bad-mouth the company. They sue. They might even be unbalanced enough to come back and shoot up the place. Or just key a few cars in the parking lot on their way out. All of this is bad, and once again, we want to avoid confrontations because confrontations are messy. So instead Managment culls its own by indirect means. Make the guy's job so miserable/impossible/intolerable/all of the above that he up and quits on you. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief, and hopefully when he goes, the guy is so happy to be out of there that he forgets to be angry at the company.